From Our Readers: The Buckeye Is Only The Beginning

Jim Flechtner’s satirical letter to The Courier (Findlay, Ohio), pointed out irreconcilable differences between the Holy Bible and the “bisexual” Buckeye and called for grassroots campaign to remove the “shameful” state mascot.

Without reading too much into the author’s original intent, the letter does connote a bit of Jonathan Swift’s Modest Proposal in 1729 and the rich history of subsequent modest proposals since.

“Cher Cox” was inspired by Flechtner to sound an alarm of her own:

“Jim Flechtner’s buckeye anxiety mirrors the same way I feel about Florida’s state bird, the Lawn Flamingo. They were nearly extinct thirty years ago, but careless and wanton overbreeding has this non-indigineous species invading formerly sedate neighborhoods, and not just trailer parks, either. They’re the silent property value killer, and they want your yard.”

Drone Future jumped right onboard:

“DEATH TO THE LAWN FLAMINGO!”